I’ve learned from both Ecclesiastes and The Byrds that there is a time for everything. A time to play, laugh, work, sleep, cry, and as much as I hate to admit it, a time to fold laundry. Time is something we all wish we had more of and once gone, you can’t get it back. As a parent, it’s a little unnerving. When you first have your little ones, people keep telling you that you will blink, and they’ll be grown. During sleep deprived nights and more diaper changes than you can count, you don’t really think about it too much. Then, suddenly, the first steps come and go, potty training is done and they’re off to pre-K with a little backpack as you wave goodbye with tears in your eyes behind your fashionably large sunglasses. At that point it hits you that everyone was right. Wow, I’m upsetting myself as I write this. It is not my goal to write a sappy post to make us all depressed. The point of this post goes back to time. It is limited and there are ways we can make the most of it, so when we lay our head on the pillow at night, which I’m sure will be at a reasonable hour, we can have fewer regrets about how that time was spent. When I was planning activities around the holidays for my boys, so many days were packed with all sorts of fun and the #1 reason was that we were having fun together. A close second though was that I never looked back and thought, the holiday came and went, and I didn’t make the most of it. We had made some great memories. Being intentional is the key. To date, that is the best weapon I have found in my fight against time. We won’t win the battle. There’s no stopping time, but we can decide how we want to spend it and I’d rather go down swinging. The battle that is the focus of this post, is screen time. It’s a war on multiple fronts. T.V., phones, iPads, gaming and depending on your child’s age, they may even have their own PC. My goal for this post is to share the information I have read about the negative effects of too much screen time, as well as offer some alternatives. I don’t want to just point out the problem, I want to at least try to propose some ideas for lessening screen time.
Why should we be concerned about too much screen time?
I have my reasons and theories about why spending a lot of time on devices or in front of screens could be harmful, but I also wanted to do some reading on the subject and arm myself with some facts. I read a couple of articles and honestly, the points in the article just made a lot of sense. There are stages of development that require interaction with others and the outside world in general. A lot of times, screen time ends up replacing that much needed interaction that is key to some areas of cognitive development. Another very practical example is the physical activity that often gets replaced with screen time, leading to much more stationary lifestyle patterns which are not good for children. I’m including a link to one of the articles I read, but I encourage you to do some research of your own as well. Every child is different, but there are some recommendations for guidelines on limiting screen time by age. For the most part, I read that a couple of hours a day should be the limit for the age of my boys, nine and six. Different recommendations for younger children based on the stages of development are available as well. So now we know why we should pay attention to screen time and how much is too much, but practically speaking, now what?
https://healthmatters.nyp.org/what-does-too-much-screen-time-do-to-childrens-brains/
How can we lessen screen time?
First of all, screens are not bad. Although I jokingly tell my boys screens are melting their brains, one of the things I liked about the article in the link above is that the author, who is also a physician, points out that watching a show with your children can be a positive thing. Of course, it can. Recently, our family geeked out over Obi-Wan Kenobi and The Book of Boba Fett. It was awesome and I already have a head start on our Halloween costumes for this year. My point is, it’s like everything else. In moderation. I feel like I’ve gotten pretty good at keeping the troops occupied, and I have the pandemic to thank for that. I quickly learned that letting the boys go on their own while telling them to take a break from screens did not equate to a very efficient day for me, a work from home mom. I was bombarded with questions about whether or not they could play on their iPads. Nope, still screens. Video games? Nope, still screens. This was followed by being asked how much longer which came about 5 minutes after the last inquiry. Requests for multiple snacks out of boredom. You get the point. Below are 5 tips that have helped me as a work from home mom fight the screen time battle and still be productive.
Add Some Structure
All children do better with structure. I think this is a well-known fact supported by lots of expert opinions and research. I found all sorts of articles when I started googling. Structure means children know what to expect which in tern helps them feel more secure. Structure also creates situations that require participation and obedience which are things I’m sure all kids need to practice. Unless of course your kids are always “yes ma’am,” and “no sir,” and jump up immediately to do what you ask the first time, every time. I am not saying your kids should wake up to find a white board with the entire day’s schedule minute to minute, but having a routine and being consistent goes a long way. If they know they need to pick up their room after breakfast, for example, they won’t start asking to play video games just yet.
Play to Their Strengths
We all have unique interests. What my husband and I choose to do in our down time is vastly different some days. Kids are just as unique. One child may love to draw and color, and another might love to play with hands on building toys. If you are trying to find an activity to draw them away from screen time, it is nice if that doesn’t feel like a punishment. I have noticed that when I give my kids a challenge around their interests, they really get into it sometimes. Before you know it, 45 minutes to an hour has gone by and that is one hour less of screen time. You can even make it interesting. For your Lego lover, give them something to make out of Legos. Once completed, maybe give them the word in a message. Then, it’s on to challenge number two, after which they get the second word. Pick a fun surprise they can decode after completing all the challenges. My two love to draw and I do too, so we always have time for art.
Give Them a Project and They Will Surprise You
It is good to balance the structure with some freedom of creativity. Giving kids a project can be so much fun. Task them with something, but let them come up with the how, why, when, and any important details about the type of project it is. The fun part is seeing what they come up with and a lot of times, they can end up teaching you something. It can be as simple as an a-typical chore like organizing the game closet. Have them pull everything out and organize it in a way that makes sense. You might be surprised by what they come up with. Another example is coming up with a service project. How can we bless someone else? Who would you like to serve and how? It can be so heartwarming to see their point of view and rationale for the service project of their choice.
Get Moving
I’m a huge fan of recess. I’m not really sure why adults don’t have it. How good is it for your mind and body to get up at some point in the day and do some physical activity? A quick game of office tag might just get the juices flowing to help combat the mental fatigue of sitting at one’s desk for an entire day. But back to the kids. There are so many options here. Going for a walk. Shooting some hoops. Swimming, playing kickball. Practicing any type of activity your child is already doing. Do they play soccer? Maybe they go outside and do some drills. If the weather is not conducive to outdoor play, I recommend a fun dance game like Just Dance to get everybody up and moving indoors. You can also look up some yoga poses for kids to do some great stretching and core exercises geared for their age. Another idea is charades. There is a link below to a game we have that has cards for younger players with pictures to act out as well as cards for your readers. Trust me when I say all of you will burn enough calories just laughing at the impressions your kids will perform.
Make It Fun
Given that it is still technically summer, it doesn’t have to be all business or educational all the time. The screen time battle is more intense during summer for obvious reasons. Although, I will say it is easy to eat up a lot of time with screens in the afternoons after school as well. A little effort and creativity go a long way towards enticing kids away from their screens. We love games so I decided to use my original game of Trivial Pursuit to come up with some alternate activities. As usual, I give credit where credit is due, so I am sharing links to all the sites I got ideas from thanks to other creative moms and teachers. I have included those links below divided into the different categories, so you have good resources across a range of subjects. Most of the articles have lots of ideas. The categories line up with the classic trivia game. Let them choose which area to dive into or you could throw some cards together and let them draw the category out of a bag. I even added an extra wild card category and included a link to the Raddish Kids site. If you are not familiar with Raddish Kids, it is a site where you can sign your little one up to receive cooking kits in the mail with age-appropriate culinary projects you can do together. If you have a future chef at your house, this might be a fun way to participate in his or her hobby together. I enjoyed reading all of the articles below because they each had lots of ideas so hopefully, there is a little something for everyone. Deep Space Sparkle incorporates some of our favorite books with a corresponding art project. We chose Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? The science experiment site has a full list of classic things you can do with your kids. I also found a simple tornado in a jar recipe that was easy and I got a “wow” from the boys. We have a world atlas and have enjoyed reinforcing our U.S. knowledge as well as learning about other countries. There are some fun ideas for learning Geography and History from the Learn in Color site below. I chose Beethoven for one of our history subjects from her list. Since my boys are into Minecraft, I grabbed an article about how to make a Minecraft selfie. There are so many creative moms and teachers out there, you can find plenty of great ideas to take the place of screen time. For the sports and leisure category, Hello Little Home, provides ideas for 20 DIY yard games, but also provides links for where to purchase if you are not the DIY type.
Art and Literature
Science and Nature
Geography
History
Entertainment
Sports and Leisure
https://hellolittlehome.com/diy-yard-games/
Wildcard
Making memories and making the most of our time with our kids is a big focus at our house. Another thing we think about a lot is influence. Anything we invest hours each day into will certainly have an influence on us. The same is true for our kids. A couple of years ago, my little one asked if we could go ‘on holiday.’ I was taken aback and wondered why he sounded like he was from London, until I realized, he had picked it up from Peppa Pig. It was adorable. If the boys started acting like some of these YouTubers; however, well let’s just say, less adorable. I absolutely want to keep making memories and engaging with my kids to make the most of their time under my roof. I also want to avoid some of the proven negative effects of too much screen time. Replacing screen time with quality time or some of the ideas above also means there’s an extra hour or two of activities that we can use to help build character and instill our values. Time we can claim for positive influence. The title of this post is a reminder that we have to intentionally protect our time from getting away from us, so we don’t mindlessly waste the hours in our day. In other situations, when we screen something off, it is usually to partition something with a barrier to make it more private or obscure it from view. We can approach carving out our day in a similar fashion. Mick Jagger lied to us by telling us that time is on our side. It’s not. Steve Miller was more accurate in telling us that time keeps on slipping into the future. Remember, there’s a time for everything though, including sitting on the dock of the bay, watching the tide roll away, which I highly recommend. Thank you Otis Redding.
“How did it get so late, so soon. It’s night before it’s afternoon. December before it’s June. My goodness, how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?” -Dr. Seuss
“The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is.” -C.S. Lewis
Finally, U2 reminds us,
“It’s a beautiful day, don’t let it get away.”
Screen off.
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